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story about my life (2nd in national competition)

This story came 2nd in the CLA writing competition available at careleavers.com. It is about my Foster mum and my time spent in hospital.

‘My Mum’ (c) 2011 daniel hunter

‘Earliest Memory’
My earliest memory is of me holding my foster mums hand. The warmth and security of a special bond.

‘Wroxum’
Finally we’re here, Wroxum! The annual get together organized by my foster mum and local foster parents. I’m sitting at the top of the huge slide in the nearby park. To my youthful eye and imagination it seems to touch the sky. I smile and am happy.

‘Graduation’
I’m dressed in my gown and hat. Walk on the stage and shake a Lords hand. I’m now a graduate. I can make out my foster mum in the distance, she is full of maternal pride.

‘The Hospital’
I’ve been abducted, I’m in a strange room alone, the door is open but I’m too afraid to leave. The room is too clean and tidy – sterile and unloved like a hotel room. There are no happy memories here. I hear strange noises, silence punctured by laughter, shouting, incoherence. I’m afraid I’m going to be killed – some people (I don’t know who) must want something from me, a secret society, religion or the state. I’m too scared to leave the room and find the toilet because I am going to be killed. I lay on the bed my mind racing at a thousand miles an hour anxiety and paranoia reign supreme. I lose myself in my thoughts, I come round and it is now light outside, have I been a sleep?

A man with a kind, sympathetic face enters the room and leaves assorted savory food and squash. He says something. I do not take it in. He must be one of ‘them’. Out to kill me. I do not eat or drink as they are poisoned. I look through the window at the end of my bed and ‘see’ my family being tortured and abused. I hear their screams. ‘They’ must have got to them. I watch this scene from my bed until it gets dark outside again. I lose myself in my thoughts again. Suddenly it is light, have I been asleep?

I take my first tentative steps outside the room with care and trepidation as if snipers have their sights locked on me. I begin to walk up and down the corridor. Up and down, up and down. I lose myself in my thoughts again. Suddenly I’m back, still walking, it’s dark outside now. I’m asked if I want any tea – I reply no and stop for a second, my feet ache – I see my reflection in a locked door, I’m smiling manically and for a fleeting moment of self awareness think to myself – you have really lost it now Dan. Then the clarity is gone and I’m immersed in confusion. I lose myself in my thoughts again. I’m in my room and it is light, have I been asleep?

I hear voices somehow coming from the walls. They ask me to join them. I wonder if the communication is part of the conspiracy. I see the psychiatrist and ask him what he and ‘they’ want from me. I stand in the common room and lose myself in my thoughts. It is now dark outside – my legs are stiff, how long have I been standing here? A woman with a kind face is trying to put a small tablet in my mouth. I submit and swallow as I feel ‘they’ have the power to hurt and murder me and my family. Suddenly It is now light outside and I am lying in my bed, have I been asleep?

I lay in bed full of absolute fear. More food and squash has been left on the table. The man with the kind face comes in and says something. I do not take it in. I lose myself in my thoughts. My foster mum walks in the door. She has travelled hundreds of miles to be here. She hugs me and says I will be alright. I’m confused but am soothed by her maternal tenderness.

‘Moving on’
Working, living independently and enrolled on a post grad course. Confident about life, the world and my place in it. My foster mums passed away now but the special bond remains.
She was less foster and more mum.

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